We're Living a Tragedy
by hannahagee01
Summary: Life is full of tragedies, Rachel Berry and Will Schuester both know it. What happens when Will can't get the words out every time he has the chance? The "what ifs" consume their lives, until the what if becomes reality. *I'm not great with summaries. Disclaimer: All rights belong to their respectful owners.*
1. Chapter 1

Will sat there behind the table listening uninterested to an African American girl singing on stage. This was the fifth one already for the day and all of them were amazing, but none of them seemed to have passion. He watched the young student carefully as she sings, tapping her feet to the beat. When the music begins to slow down he smiles as she belts out the last part with more passion.

"That was amazing Mercedes," he said smiling, "We'll be in touch."

"Thank you Mister Schuester," she says walking off stage.

"Next," he calls loudly and he gasps when a young beautiful woman walks on stage.

"Hi I'm Rachel Berry and I'll be singing On My Own from Les Miserables," she says turning toward Brad.

 _On my own  
Pretending he's beside me  
All alone  
I walk with him till morning  
Without him  
I feel his arms around me  
And when I lose my way I close my eyes  
And he has found me_

Will sits there amazed by her voice. When he first saw her he knew she was beautiful, but hearing her voice made his heart flutter in his chest. He feels his chest tightening and he knows what he's feeling is wrong, oh so wrong. He's married to Terri and Rachel is his student, he can't see her any differently; he won't. At least that's what he's praying.

 _In the rain the pavement shines like silver  
All the lights are misty in the river  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
And all I see is him and me forever and forever_

Will's ready to through morals to the end if he can hear her sing like this all the time. Terri would understand, wouldn't she? He shakes his head trying to get rid of his inappropriate thoughts about a STUDENT. He loved his wife, no matter how expensive she seems to find the things she wants, he vowed to love her and cherish her.

 _And I know it's only in my mind  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
And although I know that he is blind  
Still I say, there's a way for us_

He can see the tears in her eyes from his seat. He can feel his own heart breaking at her voice and the song she chose. The song fits perfectly with her voice and that's the saddest part, that this young woman has feelings of pain that she can express in her singing. He sits a little closer to the table with his elbows on it getting a closer look.

 _I love him  
But when the night is over  
He is gone  
The river's just a river  
Without him  
The world around me changes  
The trees are bare and everywhere  
The streets are full of strangers_

He's never saw anyone that sung like Rachel Berry before and he doubted he ever would again. Sure, when he was in Glee club himself there was a girl, April Rhodes who sung with a voice like silk, but she never had the passion when it came to singing her songs. Will notices the tears streaming down Rachel's face and he thinks about stopping her, but he couldn't get the words out. If he was being truthful, he never wanted her to stop singing.

 _I love him  
But every day I'm learning  
All my life  
I've only been pretending  
Without me  
His world will go on turning  
A world that's full of happiness  
That I have never known_

What Will didn't know was Rachel was picturing Finn, the quarterback of the football team. She has seen him around school, everyone could because he was so tall, but she's really seen Finn. He hasn't thrown a slushy in her face like the rest of the football team, twenty outfits being thrown in the trash because they're too stained from the slushies' and tears. Once when Noah Puckerman had tossed a slushy in her face causing her to drop her books, Finn was there to help pick them up. If only Finn wasn't dating the head cheerleader of the Cheerios, Quinn Fabray, he might have noticed her. But who would notice someone like Rachel Berry when they had Quinn Fabray?

 _I love him  
I love him  
I love him  
But only on my own_

As the song ends, Will smiles at her widely. She lets out a huge sigh of relief when the songs over, she chose the song to help get over Finn, but it only seemed to want to be with him more. Will begins clapping and she bows a little before looking right at the director. Perfect way to get on Broadway was to go ahead and show her eagerness.

"So, when will rehearsals start," she asks confidently.

"I'll post it later this week," he smiles.

She nods before leaving the stage. Will watches her exit before looking down at the clip board. She was the last one on the list for the day. He felt a pang in his chest knowing that he couldn't have her as his. That was a terrible tragedy, he thinks to himself as he begins packing up before he leaves to go home.


	2. Chapter 2

The second time he felt his heartbreak was when Rachel had a school girl crush on him. At first, he had to hide his excitement, but then he had to tell her the truth. He was her teacher and he was married. Hell, he even had a baby on the way with his wife. Rachel came into the empty chore room and he smiled kindly at her.

"Have a seat Rachel," he requested knowing that this was going to hurt him just as much as it would her.

"You know I was going to sing Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word by Elton John," she whispered walking over to an empty chair and sitting down, "I know how much you love him."

"I'm your teacher Rachel," he starts trying to hold back the tears, if he couldn't be with her the way they both wanted, he would be strong for her, "And I'm sorry, but that's all I'm ever going to be."

"I'm such an idiot," she whispers looking away from Will as he sits down in the chair next to her.

"You're not an idiot Rachel," he whispers putting his hand on her shoulder, hoping she knows that what he's about to say is true, "I know it isn't always easy for you Rachel, and I know there are things about yourself you'd like to change. But you should know that there's some boy out there who's going to like you for everything you are. Including those parts of you that even you don't like. Those are gonna be the things he likes the most."

"I'm sorry Mr. Schue," she whispers, "I have been acting irrational."

"Yes, you have," he says wondering where she's getting with this.

"I better go try to find Finn and talk to him," she says quietly standing up on shaky legs before sitting back down looking at Will with sad eyes, "Before I leave, if you can tell me these feelings aren't mutual, I'll leave and drop it forever."

"These feelings," he hesitates feeling his own heart break in two, "you're having aren't mutual."

"Okay," she nods as tears fall on her cheeks, "I better go, I'll see you Monday Mr. Schue."

"Have a good weekend Rach," he says as he watches her walk away.

He debated running after her, to stop her. She acted better about it than he thought she would, she was the diva of the club, but she was growing up. He wanted to feel her against him in his arms, her lips on his, and his hands in her soft wavy hair. He wanted her to be his as bad as he needed air to breathe, but he knew no matter how bad he wanted her, she was going to leave Lima, Ohio and not look back. She was a star that was brighter than the sun in his eyes, and he would never be the reason to make her stay like he did. Broadway is where she belongs and he would do everything to make sure she got there, even if that means breaking his own heart. His heart breaks in two knowing that she will leave one day and he will just be a memory to her, he thought that was the worst tragedy of all. He'll be left here without her.

"Will," Emma asks looking through the doorway of the choir room, "How did it go?"

"Good," he sighs trying to put on a confident face, "I'll see you on Monday Emma, Terri's expecting me for dinner."

"Okay, Will," she smiles and it hurts to know how she feels about him, but he's married and she knows it.


	3. Chapter 3

Will walked into his apartment feeling tired from the long rehearsal. When he walked into the living room he saw a cream colored looking pillow. Curiously he walked over picking up the pillow and he knew what it was the moment he felt it. Terri was faking her pregnancy. He hears something moving in the bedroom and then his world shifted, Terri came out wearing clothes not looking pregnant.

"Will," she gasps, "I thought you wouldn't be home until seven, it's 5:30."

"You lied to me," he whispers hurt before he starts raising his voice, "You lied to me about being pregnant."

"I thought I was pregnant," she says panicked as she walked into the kitchen with Will following her, "When I told you I was pregnant you seemed so happy, then when I went to the doctor they told me I wasn't. I didn't want you to be unhappy again. We've been trying for three years, Will."

"What were you going to do when it came time to have the baby," he asked trying to keep his anger under control.

"Quinn Fabray offered to give us her baby," Terri says and his anger finally bubbles over, "It was so perfect! She didn't want hers, and I needed one. I had the doctor use her ultra sound dvd at the appointment you came to."

"You were going to take my students child," he asks and before she can answer he breaks, "I can't believe you, Terri! You knew how bad I wanted a family! You lied to me! You made yourself a stranger to me now. Are you happy? Are you satisfied?!"

"It didn't start as a lie. I really thought I was pregnant, and, the doctor, he said it was a hysterical pregnancy, and I just panicked," she yells back and he shakes his head trying to rid the tears from his eyes.

"I loved you Terri. I really loved you," he says shaking his head more.

"I'm so sorry, Will. I'm so sorry. Do you remember that appointment? Do you remember what we said? That no matter what happened we loved each other. We could get that feeling back again," she says loudly and he's heard enough, as he walks to the door and opens it she says, "You can love me back Will! Please, Will. Please don't go! Please don't go. Please!"

He walks out the door with tears in his eyes, he was tired of talking to her. He gets into his car slamming the door. When he gets to the bar, he orders himself a Whiskey Sour. About two hours later he's on his sixth drink and he knows he can't drive himself home. He pulls out his phone, squinting at the screen before clicking the call button. On the second ring, she answers.

"Hello," she asks over the phone.

"Rachel," he asks and he can hear her sigh, "I need you to come get me."

"Where are you," she asks and he looks at the sign on the wall.

"Charlie's bar," he sighs and he imagines her shaking his head.

"I'm on my way," she says before hanging up.

Will kept replaying what he found out about the baby, well what he thought was a real baby. How could Terri do this to him? Take the one thing he wanted so bad, had wished for years to have his own family. His brother had already started his own family, not that Will cared or was jealous.

"Mr. Schue," the familiar voice draws him out of his thoughts.

"Rachel," he slurs smiling.

"They won't let me in here long," she whispers and he nods, "We better go. I'll drop you off."

"Okay," he says as he stands up slowly, but he stumbles and Rachel was there to catch him.

"Careful, Mr. Schue," she smiles at him and his heart flutters in his chest.

"Thank you, Rachel," he whispers and he puts an arm around her waist.

She helps him to her car, careful on where she touched him. It's been three weeks sense her stalking and creepy crush on him started. She's been trying to get over it, but she didn't want Will to think about her as a stalker again. She finally got Finn's attention and she would do everything in her power to be with Finn. If Will needed her she would be there; no matter how bad it hurt her to be around him and not be able to have him. She gets him in the passenger seat before getting into her own.

"I'm sorry Rach," he whispers and she looks at him.

"For what," she asks needing to have an explanation.

"For asking you to come pick me up," he says looking out the window, he wanted her to know everything, "When I came home today after practice, I found out that Terri was faking the pregnancy. I didn't mean to get this drunk, I just wanted to forget about it."

"I'm so sorry Mr. Schue," she says before pulling into the driveway of the apartment complex where he lived, "I don't know what I can do to help."

"Me either," he says, but he had an idea even though it was totally inappropriate.

"If you need anything, call me," she smiles, "Although the club thinks I can't keep a secret, I can when it counts. I won't tell anyone about today, I promise."

"Thank you, Rachel," he says touching her shoulder, "I'd rather not have the whole school know about what's going on in my personal life."

"Tell me how that works out for you," she laughs, "I don't know anyone at that school who really has a private life."

"Yeah," he laughs as she takes her phone out smiling at the device.

"I've got to go," she sighs, "Finn is on his way to my house, my Dads invited him for dinner."

"Okay," he sighs, "Thank you again for everything."

"Anytime Mr. Schue," she says as he gets out of the car.

He stood there watching her drive away. He didn't know if it was Rachel leaving or finding out that Terri faked her pregnancy, maybe both, but he wanted to cry. He rarely ever cries, but he felt like he needed to. The whole day had been a tragedy for Will, but it seemed like it has been sense Rachel walked on that stage and began singing On My Own from Les Miserables.


	4. Chapter 4

Will noticed Rachel's behavior sense Monday has been different. She isn't smiling in the hallways, she isn't holding her head high, she's just there. She hasn't even participated in his Spanish class at all. It has been exactly a week sense he called and needed a ride from his student. Finally, when Glee ends Friday he can't take it anymore.

"Rachel," he says as she sits in her seat and the others pile out of the choir room, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she says putting on her fake Broadway smile, "I'm fine."

"Rachel," he sighs sitting in the chair next to her, "What's wrong?"

"It's Finn," she sighs looking at the white tile on the floor, "He told me on Friday when he came over that he wanted to kiss me. So, I told him it was okay if he did. Then, well, we kissed. After we were done kissing he told me not to tell anyone and that he loved Quinn."

"I'm sorry Rach," Will whispers trying to hide the jealousy from his voice.

"I just don't understand," she whispers, "What does Quinn have that I don't? I mean sure she's popular, beautiful, and has confidence. I think I just answered my own question."

"She's nothing compared to you," Will says without thinking, "You're smart, beautiful, kind, a diva at times, but if Finn can't see it then he doesn't deserve you."

Rachel didn't miss his words and she felt her heart skip a beat at them. No man had ever called her beautiful before other than her dads. She wanted to act on her new-found passion, but she remembered their conversation they had not too long ago. She would never be his and he would never be hers; she would have to learn to be okay with that.

"Thank you Mr. Schue," she whispers before standing up, "I better go. I have ballet practice at 6."

"Okay, Rachel," he says smiling at her, "See you Monday."

"See you then," she smiles before turning around to hide the tears.

Will could tell by the slump of her shoulders that she was sad. He wished more than anything that he could make her happy, be the reason for her to smile; but like all things anymore he wasn't that man. He watched the door even after she left, but she never came back while he was in the choir room that day. He nodded to himself thinking, it's going to be a lot worse when he knows there won't be that Monday Glee rehearsal with her in it, that weekend break that seemed longer without her, and that day he would have to say goodbye to Rachel Berry before she walks out to be the hit star on Broadway. They would never get that chance to be together and that, he knew, was one tragedy of many.


End file.
